Preliminary task 1 final edit ASHE
PT2 final edit ready or not
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Script (PT1)
ASHE SCRIPT: FADE IN: DARK ROOM - DAY BUT DARK Assassin getting equipment ready. DISSOLVE TO: DARK ROOM - DURING DAY Silhouette shadow, over the shoulder shot of guy #1 calling the assassin. GUY #1 "address and time" "its time" DISSOLVE TO: DARK ROOM - DAY Assassin polishing her gun and put in her back pocket. DISSOLVE TO : DARK ROOM - DAY Guy #1 spinning on chair after call. DISSOLVE TO: DARK ROOM - DAY Guy #2 (coder) working at desk. Diegetic sound of fast typing. Dark room the only thin...
Time line Preliminary task 2
TIME LINE FOR READY OR NOT: (This is our time line for preliminary task 2. The time line is described more in the story boards which are even more detailed in the rationale.) Ready or not 1. Establishing shot 2. Shots of the knifes 3. From outside show the girl in the kitchen cooking 4. Shadow of guy watching her 5. Intruder taking the photos 6. Him sending photo of her 7. She gets the messages/ she's scared 8. Girl looks out and sees nothing 9. Girl hears knock 10. Shot of the intruder guy knocking 11. Show girl picking up knife inside 12. Girl slowly walks to the door, door is open no one is there 13. Over shoulder shot of the intruder inside the house 14. Focus on guy behind girl 15. See girls facials as she turns and sees the intruder in her house 16. The intruder grabs the girl 17. The end Here I come BY PORCIA ARMITAGE
Hi Porcia
ReplyDeleteOverall Score: 17/20
What a great effort for your first, ever film project! Well done!
Here's what worked well;
- great use of sound behind the logo
- love the dripping blood title - would be good to make this a real punchy start, maybe to have made it bigger (which I know you tried) or to make it linger on the screen longer or even over the action of the next scene for a bit?
- your opening could have done with an establishing shot. Either location or characters within a location, helping set the tone and set the story in a scene
- some really nicely framed shots. Using the rule of 1/3's well. Office shot, close-up of gun coming out the briefcase - all well set-up
- handheld camera works nicely in contrast to static camera in office
- I like how you concealed Phoebe's face so we can't see who she is straight away - emphasis on the gun.
- nice match-on-action shots
- great use of shadows and darkness
- Music builds nicely at the right place (emphasis in sound choice which matches what's on screen, well).
- Great gun-shot scene / sound working together. Black out / fade to black after the shot is impactful, too.
- Love the red hue and the use of shadows in this scene
Tips for next time:
- 180' rule was broken when Phoebe walks through the door and then shot switches to our victim who is walking down the corridor on the other side. How unfortunate!
- Music potentially could have changed gears and you could have played around with the shot duration and some suspense-building techniques at the point of Niav being held at gunpoint before the shot is fired. The music is almost what should be used for the chase scene, (could it have been longer? ) A change in music/ tone and perhaps even silence and a slower more eery track at the point of the gun hold-up could have worked nicely? Playing around with different dynamics will be great for your next go.
- Red hue for this scene is great, maybe planning it better to be able to see the blood would be better? Maybe adding a touch of white light could have helped us see this?
- credits look good but aren't easy to read. Maybe slow these down even more or try a different way of displaying them?